i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
