There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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