Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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