haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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