Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
