so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
