please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
