HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize