Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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