Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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