What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
