In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
