your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
