Just fell off a train. Bad.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
