mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
