i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
