the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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