i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
