so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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