...so i touched it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
