they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
