what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
