For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize