your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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