come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Randomize
