did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
