I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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