Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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