we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
