yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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