Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize