What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
