This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm like, not good at living.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize