people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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