Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
3 2 1 whiskey
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
