i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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