tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
