I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Your cock deserves a montage
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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