the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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