absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they're like a gay fantastic four
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
