Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
