I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
