Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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