It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
