my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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