Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
