I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
