I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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