as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
