you would pick up someone in the library
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
