barbara walters just said penis...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
