Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
