Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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