the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
