My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
