He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
