i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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