So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
