do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
