Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
