So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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