please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
