i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
