And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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