im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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