i need an iv and a liver transplant
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
