I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
