i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize