foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come share oat with me in your robe
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
