This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
